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monkeyCanDoMYJob

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monkeyCanDoMYJob

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3616
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.

monkeyCanDoMYJob's page activity

Visits<b>JoeTheBow</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:27pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/07/2012 at 10:39am<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 12:14am<b>slim_lady</b> - the 01/17/2012 at 4:53pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 3:08pm<b>lastsinglepanda</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 5:25pm<b>token_blackguy</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 11:30pm<b>cOnVeRsE94</b> - the 10/10/2011 at 3:40pm<b>Haganbottom234</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 7:33pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 1:42pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 3:10pm<b>CherriBerri</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:19pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 5:22pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 01/02/2011 at 1:32am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 01/01/2011 at 11:40pm

monkeyCanDoMYJob's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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monkeyCanDoMYJob's favorite FMLs

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (2624)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (10002)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (3446)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (4264)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (2485)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48099) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24741) - you deserved it (9467)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount of whiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. FML

#17365411
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (56837)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:41am - kids - by makeitstop (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (7822)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (14512)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31516) - you deserved it (3102)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad taped a picture of me to the fridge with "Do not feed the she-beast" written on it. FML

#17250401
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (8232)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:21am - health - by jgdgjyfg - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

#17207646
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27549) - you deserved it (14255)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

#17201189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (2347)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Courtney - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37112) - you deserved it (10690)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)



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