About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
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Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (22754)
On 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by mycedes - United States
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (4317)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25059) - you deserved it (2743)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21490)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18743) - you deserved it (3525)
On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (3099)
On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (13025)
On 10/20/2011 at 4:26am - love - by Awie (man) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25835) - you deserved it (4696)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37624) - you deserved it (3801)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, I got a speeding ticket while taking my drivers license test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10554) - you deserved it (23869)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by dust1535538 (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (2301)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9005) - you deserved it (29762)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (2697)
On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out it takes no special training to put a large glass marble up my nostril but may require someone with a medical degree to remove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4062) - you deserved it (31100)
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (8460)
On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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