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monkeyCanDoMYJob

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monkeyCanDoMYJob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3173
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Perfectionist

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monkeyCanDoMYJob's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49392) - you deserved it (9583)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (38086)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16395) - you deserved it (80965)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15079) - you deserved it (6746)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2469)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version



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