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monkeyCanDoMYJob

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monkeyCanDoMYJob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3168
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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monkeyCanDoMYJob's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (6546)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23357) - you deserved it (11561)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27789) - you deserved it (2864)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27785) - you deserved it (3298)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (67982)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (67982)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7343) - you deserved it (68921)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (2191)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (3388)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (2993)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29011) - you deserved it (9285)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

#18324094
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11793) - you deserved it (14523)

On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)



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