Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

monkeyCanDoMYJob

Search for a member

monkeyCanDoMYJob

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3409
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About monkeyCanDoMYJob : I look nothing like my picture.

monkeyCanDoMYJob's page activity

Visits<b>JoeTheBow</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 5:27pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/07/2012 at 10:39am<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/03/2012 at 12:14am<b>slim_lady</b> - the 01/17/2012 at 4:53pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 12/02/2011 at 3:08pm<b>lastsinglepanda</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 5:25pm<b>token_blackguy</b> - the 11/05/2011 at 11:30pm<b>cOnVeRsE94</b> - the 10/10/2011 at 3:40pm<b>Haganbottom234</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 7:33pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 1:42pm<b>HappinessForFree</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 3:10pm<b>CherriBerri</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 8:19pm<b>Doortje</b> - the 02/03/2011 at 5:22pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 01/02/2011 at 1:32am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 01/01/2011 at 11:40pm

monkeyCanDoMYJob's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of monkeyCanDoMYJob's badges

monkeyCanDoMYJob's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

#18775724
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (6762)

On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (12564)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29102) - you deserved it (2983)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (3406)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10974) - you deserved it (87239)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10974) - you deserved it (87239)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (70978)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43631) - you deserved it (3547)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29139) - you deserved it (3123)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (8611)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (9467)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

#18324094
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15305) - you deserved it (20380)

On 11/23/2011 at 3:19am - animals - by bonertoolong - United States (Texas)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32841) - you deserved it (3121)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: