Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mongorian_beef

Offline (yesterday at 7:48pm) | Search for a member

mongorian_beef

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 446
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mongorian_beef's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of mongorian_beef's badges

mongorian_beef's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29618) - you deserved it (2157)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (8478)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39372) - you deserved it (6831)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (4977)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45368) - you deserved it (5441)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50347) - you deserved it (6777)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (6040)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

#21208109
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (3756)

On 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by all puked out (man) - Netherlands

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45831) - you deserved it (4632)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51952) - you deserved it (4723)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40912) - you deserved it (9222)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48993) - you deserved it (13664)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52333) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

#21178277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (4106)

On 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by the lannisters send their retards - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: