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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15815) - you deserved it (21949)
On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17966) - you deserved it (61159)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (2013)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10138) - you deserved it (260212)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5583) - you deserved it (45224)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm - work - by staringisrude (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13213) - you deserved it (37339)
On 08/27/2009 at 4:53pm - animals - by chickenlover (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50831) - you deserved it (1025)
On 08/27/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by LizP40 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (92914)
On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7213) - you deserved it (31444)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38680) - you deserved it (7585)
On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (123751)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35997) - you deserved it (1909)
On 08/20/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by tommy3824 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40015) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work while washing the dishes I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (3965)
On 08/19/2009 at 4:44am - work - by ohno. (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93918) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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