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mitchknvb

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mitchknvb

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1415
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mitchknvb's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mitchknvb's badges

mitchknvb's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

#21462545
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (2122)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27823) - you deserved it (3079)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I waited 45 minutes at the Apple Store for my grandpa to very loudly ask why PornHub wasn't loading on his computer. FML

#21448024
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (1886)

On 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (3092)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (7553)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28826) - you deserved it (10681)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

#21372435
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26546) - you deserved it (7832)

On 03/11/2015 at 9:55am - kids - by birdisnottheword (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (4111)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34155) - you deserved it (5439)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18247) - you deserved it (26575)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56884) - you deserved it (3209)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (13390)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46770) - you deserved it (21030)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML

#20977212
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41695) - you deserved it (4066)

On 12/01/2013 at 4:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

#20955463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36839) - you deserved it (3079)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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