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mitch714

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mitch714
  • Town/Country : MD, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 June 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 103
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mitch714's favorite FMLs

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44400) - you deserved it (8167)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (31455)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42794) - you deserved it (9469)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (49579)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41435) - you deserved it (3054)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37171) - you deserved it (4342)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57019) - you deserved it (6358)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45698) - you deserved it (16289)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46176) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54405) - you deserved it (15246)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44366) - you deserved it (8144)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38138) - you deserved it (4985)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (5416)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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