Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About missory_missouri : My name is Jacinda, I'm going to school for journalism and I try to stay on the bright side.
Also, if I make a comment that upsets or offends you in any way, don't take it seriously. The majority of the time I'm kidding around.
Again, 'tis jest, not insult. Thank you, citizens of FML.com
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML
Friday 6 December 2013