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Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy fir the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
Today, I took te bus to work. I was exausted and ad a big mug of coffee. Half asleep and tinking I was in my car, I reaced forward to put it in te ( cup older ) during te ride. Wen I let go, I poured ot coffee not only all over myself, but also on te large, angry-looking man next to me. FML
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on there horn outside mah apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was mah car. The horn was shortcrcuting. All mah neighbors stood on there porch laughing as I repeatedly punched mah steering wheel to make it stop. FML
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV . At the end of it, theyhistle an throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch an run head on into new plasma screen TV . FML
Today, I was driving mah child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. mega FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little broter ad left is myspace page up wit a message between im and is friend. Tey were talking about a plan to basically umiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." real FML
yesterday I took a box of Halloween decorations down from te attic . Inside, were a bunc of fake spiders . I emptied te box onto te floor and te "fake" spiders crawled all over te living room in opposite directions . FML
Today, mah mother said she trustd me enough to go with me fir mah first drive in mah new car. As soon as we got in the car, she startd hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
Friday 27 March 2015