misslkr

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misslkr

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  • Number of visits : 576
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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misslkr's page activity

Visits<b>Luna33</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 6:40am<b>BrookieAnn</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 7:35pm

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50 favourites

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misslkr's favorite FMLs

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

by missmisfit / 06/13/2012 at 12:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

by ILoveAnimals / 06/11/2012 at 3:14am / Austria (Wien) / Animals

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, I was getting coffee with my aunt, and she asked me to pay. She then turned to the Barista and said, "He's never had a girlfriend before, and I wanted to show him that they take your money." The Barista laughed so hard she had to excuse herself. FML

by brannonjames / 05/10/2012 at 6:20pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I put my ironing board away in the bathroom. After closing the door, I heard a loud noise. The board had opened up while falling over, taking up the width of the room. I can't open the door. FML

by Magicgwen / 04/26/2012 at 4:45pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML

by A Henderson / 04/25/2012 at 4:50pm / United States / Work

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2012 at 3:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

by hikari_chan_xo / 03/28/2012 at 8:00am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML

by Jared / 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I tried to make a rocket, using Diet Coke and Mentos. It worked pretty well, as both the kitchen window and my chipped tooth can testify. FML

by alex / 02/24/2012 at 4:35pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

by OhMyWhitney / 02/20/2012 at 2:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous