About miss_sqwert : Blah
I agree, their lives suck
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Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56533) - you deserved it (3659)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (2870)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15470) - you deserved it (39122)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72722) - you deserved it (7930)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80530) - you deserved it (19337)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73441) - you deserved it (18290)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7161) - you deserved it (14962)
On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (2753)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5458) - you deserved it (15543)
On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37280) - you deserved it (18420)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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