About miss_sqwert : Blah
miss_sqwert's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
miss_sqwert's favorite FMLs
by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
by Rae / 07/30/2009 at 9:56am / United States / Kids
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2009 at 12:14am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy
by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
by Menareidiots / 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
by Ah hell / 01/31/2009 at 9:43am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Nik / 01/23/2009 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML
by USSEYL / 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…