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Offline (the 11/25/2015 at 9:52pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 969
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miss_sqwert : Blah

miss_sqwert's page activity

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Fucked!<b>amine91</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:48pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:02am

miss_sqwert's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.


You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of miss_sqwert's badges

miss_sqwert's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (69257) - you deserved it (5056)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42074) - you deserved it (4257)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19954) - you deserved it (45969)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (88997) - you deserved it (11189)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (94911) - you deserved it (22818)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML


I agree, your life sucks (87267) - you deserved it (21818)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (49369)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (4126)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: "I'm keeping them just in case..." - "In case of what?" - "In case I want to dress up like an asshole". FML


I agree, your life sucks (10218) - you deserved it (27087)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48641) - you deserved it (26403)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

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