Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

miss_sqwert

Offline (the 05/27/2015 at 2:10pm) | Search for a member

miss_sqwert

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 886
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miss_sqwert : Blah

miss_sqwert's page activity

Visits<b>Thorin2012</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 8:49pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:02pm<b>tman0322</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:12pm<b>pikon</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:31am<b>frogsbreath</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>ironfey</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 1:01am<b>SystemofaBlink41</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 1:38pm<b>guerrero1877</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:22pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Mad_Or_Nah</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 7:17am<b>peruvian0299</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:50pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:27pm<b>sirjuice35</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:29pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:18am<b>mike7236</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:45pm<b>julio_23602</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:42pm

Fucked!<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:02am

miss_sqwert's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of miss_sqwert's badges

miss_sqwert's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

#5550225
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64824) - you deserved it (4731)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39240) - you deserved it (3956)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

#2228534
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (43299)

On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83857) - you deserved it (10265)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93264) - you deserved it (22422)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82664) - you deserved it (20521)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML

#4044
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9685) - you deserved it (45427)

On 01/31/2009 at 9:43am - intimacy - by Ah hell - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (3805)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called up my ex girlfriend to ask her if I could come round hers to get my pyjamas back. She replied: “I’m keeping them just in case...”- “In case of what?”- “In case I want to dress up like an asshole”. FML

#1859
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9539) - you deserved it (25797)

On 01/20/2009 at 9:01am - love - by dude - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46493) - you deserved it (25279)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: