Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

miss_sqwert

Online | Search for a member

miss_sqwert

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 673
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miss_sqwert : Blah

miss_sqwert's page activity

Visits<b>peruvian0299</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Noxialis</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 8:50pm<b>energizerbunny23</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 12:27pm<b>sirjuice35</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:29pm<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:18am<b>mike7236</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:45pm<b>julio_23602</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 1:42pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:54am<b>NotsowiseSAGe</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 3:31am<b>d2d2d2</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 3:02pm<b>Maxus1</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:11pm<b>Nickb55</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 9:44am<b>kaitlyntonner</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 12:51pm<b>chancjd</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:16am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 8:17pm<b>jcross01</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 8:51pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:25am<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:14am

miss_sqwert's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of miss_sqwert's badges

miss_sqwert's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

#14675565
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29918) - you deserved it (5064)

On 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by ohsnap (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8581) - you deserved it (25680)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (19916) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

#13968258
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25996) - you deserved it (6111)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm - misc - by cartrouble (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40462) - you deserved it (5369)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

#11198427
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (24999)

On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

#10624819
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50062) - you deserved it (6748)

On 05/19/2010 at 8:12am - intimacy - by during - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

#8887792
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (2350)

On 03/07/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by notamathematician (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5293) - you deserved it (35451)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

#6770582
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (11026)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

#6716772
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (7462)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

#6708463
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15438) - you deserved it (21218)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (2978)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

#5815920
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29484) - you deserved it (3721)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm - misc - by draggirl (woman) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: