miss_sqwert

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miss_sqwert

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1245
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About miss_sqwert : Blah

miss_sqwert's page activity

Visits<b>minimanion</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 10:36pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 9:34pm<b>Fredrick010</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 3:18pm<b>KingKralj</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 12:13am<b>Jslusser</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 11:01pm<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 9:10pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:51pm<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 11:31am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 2:51am<b>nycjj</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 8:37pm<b>tonny06</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 4:02pm<b>YDISM</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:08am<b>frankmz</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 10:12am<b>miss_fluffybutt</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:26am<b>sosaman</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 8:51pm<b>duckman9</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:09am<b>MM100</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:57pm

Fucked!<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 4:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 1:28am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 12:54am<b>amine91</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 11:48pm<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:02am

miss_sqwert's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of miss_sqwert's badges

miss_sqwert's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

by ohsnap / 01/22/2011 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

by fmljae / 01/20/2011 at 4:11am / Transportation

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML

by cartrouble / 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML

by gibsonSG323 / 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

by during / 05/19/2010 at 8:12am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML

by notamathematician / 03/07/2010 at 5:27am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me because I was "letting myself go". When I told the little girl I babysit in the afternoons why I was so upset, she looked at me for a moment before saying, "Well, I definitely can't blame him." FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2009 at 12:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to buy my prom dress. I felt really good as I walked out of the dressing room, until someone walked out of the room next to me wearing the same dress, and looked better in it than I did. It was a man buying it for his drag show. FML

by draggirl / 10/13/2009 at 1:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous