[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

misfit471

Search for a member

misfit471
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About misfit471 : 15 year old kid who loves intelligence, people who don't smoke, and metal! :]

misfit471's last visitors

Freezelolle_p0pmollyslipsGuitar79alicia_was_herejoeinthedarknadsmperdix

misfit471's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

misfit471's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (5963)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML

#12674588 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (26603) - you deserved it (9127)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:27am - money - by coffee - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

#12595665 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (12147)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (12386)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5501) - you deserved it (25423)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

#6421239 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (2845)

On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (84317) - you deserved it (5476)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (6900)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (469)

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (99814)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML

#186916 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (7107)

On 03/02/2009 at 6:38pm - misc - by Kelly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (708)

I agree, your life sucks (349247) - you deserved it (23634)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (1009)

I agree, your life sucks (446027) - you deserved it (32715)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Your account

↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: