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About miscellaneousact : if ur wondering about my comments, im bursting with uber personality. and when think something is really stupid or just thoughtless, i tell it what it is (ima smart ass and im proud!!) :D i also dont really know why ur here in the first place, so leave!!!
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62004) - you deserved it (10973)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at a pond taking pictures with my new camera. I saw a mama duck leading her babies around and decided to get in closer to take a picture. Mama duck got spooked and led her babies too close to a waterfall escaping. One fell off. It never surfaced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16065) - you deserved it (36747)
On 06/20/2009 at 8:11am - misc - by DuckyKiller (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49696) - you deserved it (4197)
On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (149240)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16333) - you deserved it (33704)
On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51580) - you deserved it (9725)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by FMLFMLFMLFML (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (13368)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14357) - you deserved it (31898)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33199) - you deserved it (2465)
On 05/23/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (9576)
On 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm - love - by CastAway (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45598) - you deserved it (2288)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (144607) - you deserved it (13076)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70424) - you deserved it (7682)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (2501)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (32923)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
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