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minniem0usee

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minniem0usee

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 477
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About minniem0usee : Hi, I'm Maria. :)

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minniem0usee's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48696) - you deserved it (7739)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

#18447491
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (3525)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

#18444648
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26167) - you deserved it (4603)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

#18321705
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (10524)

On 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm - health - by thunderthighs644 (woman) -

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (2876)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27257) - you deserved it (8020)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43760) - you deserved it (7932)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (14679)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25696) - you deserved it (5275)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

#18092215
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (2004)

On 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm - work - by Angelica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (34859)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27995) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

#18045518
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29745) - you deserved it (5977)

On 10/22/2011 at 11:32am - misc - by Hair Fail - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (46134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (9028)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)



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