minniem0usee

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minniem0usee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 4 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 782
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About minniem0usee : Hi, I'm Maria. :)

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minniem0usee's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

by thunderthighs644 / 11/22/2011 at 10:21pm / Health

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

by StaplerScared / 11/08/2011 at 9:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

by lunarstrain / 11/08/2011 at 1:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

by Fought The Law / 10/29/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had to sit patiently at the checkout at work, listening to my own father rant about how the twinkies he was buying were "twice the size back in my day", and how "you could buy a dozen of these suckers for just 10 cents." He didn't stop there. No, he tried to haggle over the price. FML

by Angelica / 10/27/2011 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

by pinkjade / 10/25/2011 at 3:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

Today, I decided I wanted to dye my hair a medium brown. Little did I know, some jerk switched the hair dye boxes. My hair is now bright orange. FML

by Hair Fail / 10/22/2011 at 11:32am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work