About minna97 : I have problems
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minna97's favorite FMLs
Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals
Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quoting what seemed like random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work out what he meant. Not only was I mistaken for a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML
by that kind of girl / 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML
by OverIt / 02/25/2014 at 5:24pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by ashleylynn17 / 02/25/2014 at 4:59pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after 10 months of hard work, it was the opening night of the show I was directing. Everybody loved it, except my mother. She called it the worst thing she'd ever seen. Thanks for the support, mum. FML
by Disappointed / 02/19/2014 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Work
by aarong / 02/10/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
by MymB612 / 12/24/2013 at 1:50am / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Miscellaneous
by rainastartree / 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by no she wasn't high / 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…
- Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But… Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just… Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed…