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mikky_nz

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 9:37am) | Search for a member

mikky_nz

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  • Number of visits : 299
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mikky_nz's favorite FMLs

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35501) - you deserved it (4097)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (32709)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32644) - you deserved it (4222)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

#21300331
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (3305)

On 11/16/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by no - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27481) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29593) - you deserved it (8013)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41489) - you deserved it (3036)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40166) - you deserved it (3419)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16403) - you deserved it (30090)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36328) - you deserved it (2414)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (11581)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate decided that because she has an oral report due, she's going to scream at the top of her lungs until she loses her voice to get out of it. It's been two hours and she refuses to stop. FML

#21252777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (2493)

On 09/06/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by why me? - United States (Oklahoma)



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