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mikky_nz

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mikky_nz

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mikky_nz's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34253) - you deserved it (16708)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (4163)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43210) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40826) - you deserved it (15206)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50248) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41091) - you deserved it (9497)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (5957)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

#21090670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33947) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

#21090158
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to pick up my goddaughter while her mother went to work. She was being fussy, and I was surprised when she was quiet in the car; I just figured she'd fallen asleep. I got to my house and realized I'd never put her in my car, she was still sitting in my friend's driveway. FML

#21062639
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17696) - you deserved it (42053)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:44pm - kids - by lyss - United States (Pennsylvania)



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