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mikky_nz

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mikky_nz

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Today, I wore a tank top for the first time in a few years. It turned out even worse than the last time. I got insulted by several people over my "Never say never" upper chest tattoo, which I got years ago, before the words ever became associated with a certain douchy Canadian pop "singer". FML

#21230914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (9093)

On 08/06/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by beaverfever (man) - Poland (Zachodniopomorskie)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38487) - you deserved it (6688)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (21350)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48944) - you deserved it (11700)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (11473)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36142) - you deserved it (17548)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45967) - you deserved it (4444)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44105) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41030) - you deserved it (15310)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51116) - you deserved it (5027)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41872) - you deserved it (10056)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML



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