mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3023
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:44pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:07am<b>cerebralLOLsy</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:22pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>nellybug3411</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:42pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:57pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:36pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:58pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>princesshulkk</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:09pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sp00derman</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:21am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:04am

Fucked!<b>blueguy135</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 4:36am

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mikeymayhem_87's badges

mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

by jennag5 / 03/24/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML

by Confused / 03/23/2012 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

by Atheist / 03/22/2012 at 12:56am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

by insightful / 03/20/2012 at 12:33am / Australia / Health

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy