About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML
by jennag5 / 03/24/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by justgreat / 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love
by Confused / 03/23/2012 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
by Atheist / 03/22/2012 at 12:56am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by notsober / 03/20/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Love
by insightful / 03/20/2012 at 12:33am / Australia / Health
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
by StinkyandStupid / 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm / United States / Transportation
by lovefortoday / 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…