About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (3806)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4283) - you deserved it (18391)
On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (3389)
On 03/23/2012 at 11:34am - kids - by Confused (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16777) - you deserved it (3558)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18377) - you deserved it (3083)
On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15370) - you deserved it (4610)
On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11662) - you deserved it (6400)
On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia
Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1144)
On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15082) - you deserved it (8038)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5694) - you deserved it (22132)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16189) - you deserved it (2430)
On 03/13/2012 at 12:50pm - work - by lovefortoday (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (2984)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17856) - you deserved it (38112)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7980) - you deserved it (26497)
On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my 8-year-old niece corrected my spelling via text message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5465) - you deserved it (21607)
On 03/06/2012 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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