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mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1454
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:03pm<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:47pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>yareens</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Gunslinger995</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>samarakatzzz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:44am<b>rebecca320</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Tall_British_Kid</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>sherrilb70</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:17am<b>becauseofcats</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:39am<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:16pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:08am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 4:30pm<b>paityray</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:23pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:57pm<b>IIM_SiCK</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:34pm

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mikeymayhem_87's badges

mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21284) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (9532)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

#19335521
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25938) - you deserved it (5402)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

#19334531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5973) - you deserved it (27712)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML

#19332280
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31817) - you deserved it (4794)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:34am - kids - by Confused (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21926) - you deserved it (4986)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

#19316785
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (4482)

On 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm - money - by Alyssa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20034) - you deserved it (6181)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16617) - you deserved it (9264)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (1733)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21652) - you deserved it (11893)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

#19282725
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7731) - you deserved it (32794)

On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30972) - you deserved it (4092)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
595 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (53013)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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