About Mikeymayhem_87
In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!
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  • Work is a 4-letter word

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  • One more and it's business time

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Mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

By Anonymous / Sunday 2 September 2012 13:38 / United States - Baltimore

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

By Anonymous / Friday 7 June 2013 07:10 / United States - Marion

Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML

By Anonymous / Thursday 26 April 2012 12:08 / United States - Indianapolis

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 22 May 2012 20:49 / Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

By Anonymous - / Tuesday 22 May 2012 18:05 / Puerto Rico