About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29532) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (12767)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:10am - animals - by screw the cat (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4465) - you deserved it (51351)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7685) - you deserved it (26887)
On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States
Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (1008)
On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went for a jog. I was 5 km away from home when I had a sudden urge to poop. I didn't want to use the bushes, so I thought I could hold it in. I was wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16244) - you deserved it (3617)
On 07/04/2012 at 9:48am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (2969)
On 07/04/2012 at 1:36am - love - by LonelyShowers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13374) - you deserved it (5277)
On 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm - misc - by probablydeadbymidnight (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my best friend, who's a cop. He was dressed up in regular clothes and with six other guys. I said, "Officer T.? Didn't you have work today?" Turns out he was undercover, and I blew his investigation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14037) - you deserved it (29674)
On 07/01/2012 at 4:45am - misc - by immabitch - United States
Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (514)
On 06/30/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous -
Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17176) - you deserved it (2113)
On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21959) - you deserved it (11082)
On 06/17/2012 at 10:58am - love - by rosabelle91 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss gave me a new assignment at work: go online and look for my own replacement, then interview him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21782) - you deserved it (1444)
On 06/17/2012 at 4:50am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6360) - you deserved it (28901)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a really bad sunburn. On my eyelids. Who knew blinking could be so painful? FML
I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (3671)
On 06/09/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by donnap (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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