About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!
mikeymayhem_87's FML badges
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by rejected4555 / 08/03/2012 at 8:14am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML
by screw the cat / 07/24/2012 at 1:10am / United States (Utah) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 9:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by LonelyShowers / 07/04/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I exchanged pictures with a guy I met online, whose devotion to his family really impressed me. In his picture, he was wearing clown makeup, holding a huge knife to his throat with one hand, and an ICP album in the other. All this with a psychopathic grin on his face. FML
by probablydeadbymidnight / 07/01/2012 at 6:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by rosabelle91 / 06/17/2012 at 10:58am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 4:50am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous