Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mikeymayhem_87

Search for a member

mikeymayhem_87

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1765
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>sp00derman</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:21am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:04am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:02pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>Mynamewontfi</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 7:57pm<b>mypineapple</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:15am<b>RomaPasta</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:27pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:03pm<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:47pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>yareens</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Gunslinger995</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>samarakatzzz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:44am<b>rebecca320</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:57pm

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mikeymayhem_87's badges

mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

TODAY, AT WORK, I WAS TALKING TO A SCOTTISH WOMAN WHEN MY COWORKER AND I BOTH TOLD HER WE WERE ALSO SCOTTISH. TO THIS SHE REPLIED, "WE SCOTTISH PEOPLE GET AROUND." I THEN SAID, "TELL ME ABOUT IT, I'M ONE OF FOUR SIBLING FROM MY DAD, HE DEFINITELY GETS AROUND." SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT TRAVEL. FML

#20069784
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6792) - you deserved it (19857)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)

yesterday I found out there's a rumor going around that smoking hot co-worker an I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

#20069142
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9953) - you deserved it (28260)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)

I was pulled over!! The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving!! I was literally pulled over fir being black!! FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46499) - you deserved it (4057)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today I was in a mall bathroomhen two grls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really looool into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34473) - you deserved it (2681)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Yesterday I was showing mah boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong an a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (4524)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today mah boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wastd. He's currently nakd in bd cooing at his penis and giggling lyk a little grl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally decodd the system my parent use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossd-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" big fat FML

#20042325
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (2191)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie!! We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us!! As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us!! real FML

#20041946
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (6988)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:15am - love - by bummerdood (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37308) - you deserved it (10864) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch 4 pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this cuz she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan. FML

#20034900
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (8955)

On 08/22/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by ihateveganism (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, as I was riding mah bike, mah foot slippd and I did a slow sped-tumble over the top, ripping mah balls wide open. Number of stitches: too looool many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. fat FML

#20027548
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (2323)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. mega FML

#20024649
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (3323)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States (Arkansas)

Today... I was enjoying a looool romantic cuddle on the couch with mah boyfriend... when he suddenly decidd to lift up mah shirt... stick his face into mah boobs... an go all Darth Vader on me. This includd heavy breathing an phrases such as... ( Amber... I am yur boyfriend. ) real FML

#20024327
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25006) - you deserved it (6360)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: