mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3384
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 8:44pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:07am<b>cerebralLOLsy</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:22pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>nellybug3411</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:42pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:57pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:36pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:58pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>princesshulkk</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:09pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sp00derman</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:21am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:04am

Fucked!<b>blueguy135</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 4:36am

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

by TheVirginJenny / 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

by BabyG2222 / 09/29/2012 at 5:14am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

by HenryRollinsForPresident / 09/25/2012 at 7:54am / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

by tiredeolfatty / 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

by MistressSuzuka / 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy