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mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1273
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>yareens</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Gunslinger995</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>samarakatzzz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:44am<b>rebecca320</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Tall_British_Kid</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>sherrilb70</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:17am<b>becauseofcats</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:39am<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:16pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:08am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 4:30pm<b>paityray</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:23pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:57pm<b>IIM_SiCK</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:34pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:45pm<b>AnyonomousPerson</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:34pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (2325)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (6931)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34654) - you deserved it (4738)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (4562)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (4126)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24085) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

#20083358
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20318) - you deserved it (2995)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26223) - you deserved it (3040)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (12236)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (3026)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

#20081429
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:40pm - kids - by tiredeolfatty (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31922) - you deserved it (2316)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (2279)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (4712)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

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