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mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1239
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>yareens</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Gunslinger995</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>samarakatzzz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:44am<b>rebecca320</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Tall_British_Kid</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>sherrilb70</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:17am<b>becauseofcats</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:39am<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:16pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:08am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 4:30pm<b>paityray</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:23pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:57pm<b>IIM_SiCK</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:34pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:45pm<b>AnyonomousPerson</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 10:34pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49990) - you deserved it (4718)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (10113)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

#20418077
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (36679)

On 12/24/2012 at 3:46am - misc - by chunderful202 - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (2747)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (3489)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (5054)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19807) - you deserved it (9659)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (3950)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13304) - you deserved it (31467)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47210) - you deserved it (5999)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22729) - you deserved it (4067)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML



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