mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2674
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 6:07am<b>cerebralLOLsy</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 10:22pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 6:07pm<b>nellybug3411</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 11:42pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:45pm<b>alicealiveordead</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 5:57pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 6:48am<b>blueguy135</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:36pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 4:58pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 8:17am<b>princesshulkk</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:09pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 3:40pm<b>sp00derman</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 6:31pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:38pm<b>Koolaidandtacos</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 9:21am<b>Kitty_Kat16</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:04am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:02pm

Fucked!<b>blueguy135</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 4:36am

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

Socialite

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mikeymayhem_87's badges

mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

by gassy / 12/29/2012 at 4:32am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML

by chunderful202 / 12/24/2012 at 3:46am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Miscellaneous

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 11:29am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

by hiccups / 11/03/2012 at 11:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

by Obi1Shinobi / 10/30/2012 at 10:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML