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mikeymayhem_87

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mikeymayhem_87
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 994
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

#18422045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (2482)

On 12/03/2011 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by sugarbeet - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26966) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

#18350483
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23027) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/25/2011 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (8082)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

#18323585
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18502) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:40am - health - by OCDrunk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (2243)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28010) - you deserved it (5012)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31530) - you deserved it (10771)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26402) - you deserved it (5479)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41925) - you deserved it (11054)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49684)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13831) - you deserved it (49684)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

#18145802
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (4826)

On 11/03/2011 at 7:48am - misc - by Tyler Smith - United States

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

#18137674
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32771) - you deserved it (2690)

On 11/02/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)



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