Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mikeymayhem_87

Search for a member

mikeymayhem_87

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 September 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1452
  • Number of comments : 491
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!

mikeymayhem_87's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:03pm<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:47pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:11pm<b>yareens</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:27pm<b>Gunslinger995</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 1:19am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>samarakatzzz</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>swimma4life24</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 2:44am<b>rebecca320</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Tall_British_Kid</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:50pm<b>sherrilb70</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:17am<b>becauseofcats</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 9:39am<b>luckyone365</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:16pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 2:08am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 4:30pm<b>paityray</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 9:23pm<b>guitar_shredder</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 10:57pm<b>IIM_SiCK</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:34pm

mikeymayhem_87's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of mikeymayhem_87's badges

mikeymayhem_87's favorite FMLs

Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58207) - you deserved it (3531)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40222) - you deserved it (9579)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26473) - you deserved it (43512)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48682) - you deserved it (5861)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (3397)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26507) - you deserved it (14123)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38086) - you deserved it (2580)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (8783)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (2800)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (2594)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42837) - you deserved it (7096)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35788) - you deserved it (7834)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (30177)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML

#20431241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33498) - you deserved it (2434)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: