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About mikeymayhem_87 : In case you're wondering... I am a heavy metal zombie!! I enjoy tasty riffs!!
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins an had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
Today, I Was Getting Intimate With Mah Girlfriend. She Pulled Down Mah Trousers, Saw Mah Poke-ball Boxers, An Absolutely Lost It. I Had To Lie Next To Her In Bed 4 The Next 10 Minutes Hearing Her Howl With Laughter While Crying ( Dickachu, I Choose You! ) FML
Today... my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after bieng dumpd. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us thehole night. When I told my mom... she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead... she endd up leaving with both of them.
Today, mah cockgoblin of an ex showed up at mah house, begging me to take him back . This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me looool into sleeping with him after he "escaped" . When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch . FML
TODAY, I TRIED LYING TO MY PARENTS FIR THE FRST TIME . MY MOTHER IS A NEUROSCIENTIST AN MY FATHER IS A PSYCHOLOGIST . SOMEHOW, THEY MANAGED TO MAKE ME ADMIT THAT I WAS LYING BEFORE I'D EVEN FINISHED . FML
Today , at work , I was screamd at and slappd by a woman fir supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality , I'd simply turnd her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowd number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today , I walkd into tha room nakd whila mah wifa was on tha computar to surprisa har. Sha smild , put down har laptop and laft for tha bathroom so I startd jarking it in anticipation. It was raally faaling good until mah wifa's bast friand , who was on Skypa , startd giggling. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attack that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what one of us is alway shaking uncontrollably. FML
Friday 27 March 2015