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About mikemocapaldi : ye well i thought id make an account cause i come here A LOT i love seeing fmls xD
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15517) - you deserved it (39708)
On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (33485)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58118) - you deserved it (7322)
On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (3296)
On 03/21/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by Unlovedchild -
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (51129)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25879) - you deserved it (2744)
On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26250) - you deserved it (3207)
On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)
Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (4825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (6642)
On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (6818)
On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18603) - you deserved it (13709)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (26401)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, in my college class, our teacher asked us what we wanted to do when we get out of college. I guess being a U.S. Marine gets you a lecture for the whole class to hear that I'm a war hungry pig, and should get a real job that requires a brain. My job field is Aircraft repair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23999) - you deserved it (2917)
On 10/19/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by S3R1AL K1LL3R X - United States
Today, I was robbed five bucks from a vending machine that said "Enjoy Life!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (2314)
On 09/27/2010 at 9:09am - misc - by lovelife - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19498) - you deserved it (16132)
On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)
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