mikalb

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mikalb

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1850
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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mikalb's page activity

Visits<b>CairyHunt</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:48am

mikalb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mikalb's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

by grizzlybear / 06/27/2011 at 1:55am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

by Tom / 11/25/2010 at 8:28am / Transportation

Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML

by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my gynecologist was having trouble with my exam due to me being "too tight." I'm 24. After the explanation of having been pretty inactive in over a year, she exclaimed, "Damn, girl, we really need to find you a boyfriend!" Yeah, tell me about it. FML

by miss cranky pants / 10/30/2010 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She picked up a hundred dollars on the floor that somebody dropped. I told her, "I feel sorry for the retard who dropped the money." When I got home, I checked my purse and realized that I was missing a hundred dollars. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 5:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

by vikinggirl / 09/13/2010 at 5:14am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend wants to move in with me is so he has better internet connection and won't get kicked off of Xbox live while playing MW2. FML

by devigsgirl / 08/26/2010 at 12:08am / United States (Iowa) / Love