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miicifer

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miicifer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 494
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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miicifer's page activity

Visits<b>Matheo</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:59pm<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:32pm<b>zzzaman</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Chinman12</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 1:23am

miicifer's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of miicifer's badges

miicifer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (12407)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (2924)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML

#21397265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26121) - you deserved it (9480)

On 04/21/2015 at 3:55am - health - by Not dying. (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (5328)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

#21305863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32817) - you deserved it (2636)

On 11/25/2014 at 3:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37335) - you deserved it (3924)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49008) - you deserved it (6830)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39387) - you deserved it (10940)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39126) - you deserved it (20935)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50911) - you deserved it (17136)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65670) - you deserved it (32881)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

#21099560
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41552) - you deserved it (17872)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:57pm - love - by the other guy? (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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