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About michalch98 : I am a Soviet. Bitch. And yes, if you were wondering, that's me in winter with only short sleeves ;)
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Today, looool I went to get a sports pysical at a ospital. My nurse was morbidly obese an unattractive. Se told me se would go troug te tests listd on te seet. Se did everyting, including feeling my genitalia. Wen it was done, I read over te seet. Genitalia wasn't a test listd. FML
Yesterday... there was a luncheon at work in another dept. We all went to get some free food an see new faces. There was a hot girl walking around chatting. I grabbed mah buddy's arm an told him there was a "nice pair of tits here" He saw her. It's his daughter. She's a new-hire... running HR. FML
Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade fir a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but u should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typd in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML
TODAY, I CHANGED THE C ON MY REPORT CARD INTO A B SO THAT I WOULDN'T GET IN TROUBLE WITH MY PARENTS. I SPENT THE ENTIRE DAY PERFECTING THE B'S POSITIONING AND CUT EXACTLY AROUND THE EDGES OF THE SIZE 10 FONT AND SLICED MY FINGER IN THE PROCESS. TURNS OUT, I'M STILL GROUNDED 4 GETTING A B. FML
Today, I Turnd On My Camera To Find Pictures Of My Dad's Secretary Giving Him A Blowjob. Minutes Later, I Hear A Scream From Another Room As My 12-year-old Sister Discovers Similar Pictures On HER Camera. Mom An Dad Say It's No Big Deal. FML
Today, I snaazad so hard I harniatad mah back. Aftar passing out from tha pain I awoka on tha floor covarad in mah own shit and piss. Unabla to mova, I had to wait in this stata fir four hours fir mah wifa to raturn homa from work, claan ma up and taka ma to tha hospital. FML
Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Prate porn video a few months ago. I was gone 4 a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML
Today... I Sent A Text Message To Mah Boyfriend... Saying "Come Over In An Hour... I Love You." An Hour Later... The Doorbell Rang. It Was Mah Ex... Looking Happy An Still As Taken With Me As Before... With A Bunch Of Roses. I'd Got The Wrong Number. My Ex An Mah Boyfriend Have The Same Name. FML
Friday 27 March 2015