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mhterp90

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mhterp90
  • Town/Country : Fuquay Varina, US
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mhterp90's favorite FMLs

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (8087)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18063) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14685) - you deserved it (25577)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33009) - you deserved it (2518)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

#19357429
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24862) - you deserved it (20387)

On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

#19313557
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24955) - you deserved it (1974)

On 03/20/2012 at 11:37am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wolf whistled at a girl. I soon realized this wasn't the best idea I've had, as not only did she give me a look of complete and utter disgust, she also sent a very big man running in my direction. FML

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40303) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

#17950170
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (2400)

On 10/10/2011 at 4:29am - health - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31411) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14179) - you deserved it (51430)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37319) - you deserved it (9473)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)



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