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Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (1890)
On 03/20/2012 at 11:37am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (626)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (1901)
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (2346)
On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11617) - you deserved it (41317)
On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33602) - you deserved it (8036)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (32986)
On 11/27/2010 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12612) - you deserved it (1398)
On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40275) - you deserved it (7050)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43170) - you deserved it (492817)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75786) - you deserved it (3157)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75786) - you deserved it (3157)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45127) - you deserved it (2285)
On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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