mhterp90

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Offline (the 08/20/2016 at 4:59am)

mhterp90

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1730
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mhterp90's page activity

Visits<b>taby448</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 3:57am<b>kitteh90</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 7:43am<b>feeloona</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:21am<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:55pm<b>Big_Bear99</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:46am<b>hfudge</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:29pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 9:58am<b>MaybeMoo</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:37pm<b>MistyKittyx</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 12:31pm<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:26pm<b>Queenf</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:45am<b>Vball6</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 9:50am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:00am<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 9:39am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:58pm<b>superwolf33</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:27am<b>Mmkay1515</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 11:32am<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 4:28pm

mhterp90's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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mhterp90's favorite FMLs

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

by Rachel / 10/23/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

by candy man / 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

by whotouchedyou1 / 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

by Ew?Really? / 08/04/2014 at 1:42am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

by LyraAlluse / 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monsters in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

by tinytiny1124 / 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

by Ticklish / 04/13/2014 at 5:33am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

by and not even in the good way / 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous