About metalyoshi9 : Today I wasted a lot of time reading FMLs.
FML.
The end.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63914) - you deserved it (22626)
On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking up to girlfriends house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic i surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and i watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriends mom in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64837) - you deserved it (10562)
On 03/18/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Jaxter (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56096) - you deserved it (17183)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56096) - you deserved it (17183)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28790) - you deserved it (85966)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462282) - you deserved it (574213)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121758) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121758) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353925) - you deserved it (66717)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (57785)
On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56272) - you deserved it (16195)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States
Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (6128)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70960) - you deserved it (8745)
On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (95926)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5194) - you deserved it (42308)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by EOJ (man) - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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