metallicshadow

Search for a member

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 3:54am)

metallicshadow

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 June 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1802
  • Number of comments : 228
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About metallicshadow : hi i liek metallica and shadow the hedgehog thus the name metallicshadow

metallicshadow's page activity

Visits<b>kelserz27</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:57pm<b>Farklez</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 6:50pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 7:40am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:16pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:59pm<b>meandconner</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 6:57pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 12:35pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 6:02pm<b>Alycat6363</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:55pm<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 8:23pm<b>KiddoKS</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:42am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 3:49am<b>da_directioner39</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 12:34am<b>Yousuck24</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 11:07am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 12/27/2011 at 12:14am<b>Rokara</b> - the 10/22/2011 at 8:53pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 12:56am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:40pm

metallicshadow's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of metallicshadow's badges

metallicshadow's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

by copshop / 11/10/2011 at 6:40am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out the hard way that everyone in my dorm knows I watch My Little Pony. FML

by Brony / 10/22/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous