About metalhead867 : not much happens to me.
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metalhead867's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Oja1 / 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by PunkChik27 / 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by LimeyGoodteeth / 05/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Work
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Renesmeekuhnell / 02/28/2010 at 11:00am / Denmark (Arhus) / Work
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML
by chococool223 / 04/12/2009 at 6:51am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Transportation
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Noname / 03/17/2009 at 6:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
- Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…