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metalhead867

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metalhead867

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 287
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About metalhead867 : not much happens to me.

metalhead867's page activity

Visits<b>rwfrog</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 3:26pm

metalhead867's FML badges

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Consolation prize

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metalhead867's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (2004)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22080) - you deserved it (2383)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11955) - you deserved it (55281)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother sold my extensive Star Wars collection, and I cried when I found out. I'm 46. FML

#18524241
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (24751)

On 12/15/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by Oja1 - United States (Montana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, saying we're too different. His only example? He likes ham and I don't. FML

#18490588
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29727) - you deserved it (3950)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - love - by PunkChik27 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML

#14922394
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122661) - you deserved it (5363)

On 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to walk through the blistering snow, because my boss needed something really important: cream cheese. FML

#8715488
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22796) - you deserved it (2513)

On 02/28/2010 at 11:00am - work - by Renesmeekuhnell (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11585) - you deserved it (110660)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40463) - you deserved it (140265)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16980) - you deserved it (94695)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (104234)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (191629)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33126) - you deserved it (96562)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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