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metalhead3213

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metalhead3213
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 15 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 248
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About metalhead3213 : I'm a metal-head and I love being one. Don't judge.
If you want to know anything just message me, but I'm frequently on the FML app so I might not get to your message. Bye!

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metalhead3213's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at my day-camp, and one of my little boys told me he had to show me something important. He proudly showed me that he'd crapped his pants. I had to wipe his ass clean. FML

#19039920
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (2671)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:51am - kids - by ilana (woman) - United States

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

#19030539
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm - work - by Silver_Samurai (man) - Netherlands

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3345)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

#18968605
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (3072)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by manhandled - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50862) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my nap was cut short by three bricks flying through my window. FML

#18966714
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (1848)

On 02/01/2012 at 3:22am - misc - by dammit - United States

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (5031)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (4836)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out how it feels when a refrigerator door unhinges and falls on your toes. FML

#18965724
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (1930)

On 02/01/2012 at 12:06am - health - by kb - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

#18940266
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22268) - you deserved it (1824)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by hopeless cluts (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45760) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (5111)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (2578)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28302) - you deserved it (2176)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)



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