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metakirby

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metakirby

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1509
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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metakirby's page activity

Visits<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 6:59pm

metakirby's FML badges

50 favourites

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I agree, their lives suck

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metakirby's favorite FMLs

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17656) - you deserved it (9681)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31379) - you deserved it (19202)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

#19274783
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6655) - you deserved it (27336)

On 03/13/2012 at 11:22pm - misc - by Emma Five (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10155) - you deserved it (149673)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (19066)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

#19247785
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you deserved it (5774)

On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML

#19245135
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10540) - you deserved it (33549)

On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML

#19211804
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39979) - you deserved it (27582)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:02am - love - by Autocorrected (man) - Philippines (Bulacan)

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41697) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML

#19142654
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32158) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - kids - by crzyry (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39474) - you deserved it (7987)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15883) - you deserved it (29328)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (2579)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

#19039912
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (4566)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:37am - love - by ohgodwhy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad put in wall plug-ins that emit high frequencies that are suppose to ward off mice. I must be a mouse, because I can hear the annoying noise in every room I walk into. FML

#19031754
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (1917)

On 02/09/2012 at 12:37am - misc - by Ihaveaheadache - United States (Texas)



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