metakirby

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metakirby

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  • Number of visits : 2084
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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metakirby's page activity

Visits<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 6:59pm

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50 favourites

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I agree, their lives suck

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metakirby's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, I went to a new deli in town. While waiting in line, I hadn't made up my mind on what to order, so I let the guy behind me go instead. Turns out he was the hundredth customer, and they gave him his lunch for free. FML

by kirsty / 04/08/2012 at 1:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

by jess / 04/08/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

by jordyn173 / 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out that when my girlfriend said she gave up sex for lent, it was just with me and not my brother. FML

by ohno / 03/25/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

by PicklesMcRaptor / 03/25/2012 at 7:59am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML

by Confused / 03/23/2012 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

by cjd / 03/23/2012 at 10:23am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids