metakirby

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metakirby

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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metakirby's page activity

Visits<b>xXHollowIchigoXx</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 6:59pm

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50 favourites

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I agree, their lives suck

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metakirby's favorite FMLs

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

by metallicatime / 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my downstairs neighbor had a home birth. Not only did I hear eighteen hours of uninterrupted screaming, they called me afterwards, asking if I could come over to help them clean up. FML

by Kara / 12/15/2011 at 4:43pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML

by 2285morgan / 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

by Grubendol / 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I volunteered to cater an event at school. A little girl asked for a big slice of cake so I gave it to her. She then puked everywhere and her parents blamed me and made me clean it up. The little girl sat there smiling at me while I cleaned. FML

by thathottchickk / 12/13/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

by testesential / 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

by Santa / 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

by Weirdo / 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

by Christina / 12/05/2011 at 12:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 12:23am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2011 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Health