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merritalstatus

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merritalstatus
  • Town/Country : 10038
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 16 December 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 477
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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merritalstatus's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44641) - you deserved it (7702)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21964) - you deserved it (3360)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend finally proposed. His reason? A Las Vegas wedding came up on Groupon. FML

#19367964
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20383) - you deserved it (2477)

On 03/29/2012 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26168) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10927) - you deserved it (54091)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48694) - you deserved it (6226)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11393) - you deserved it (54816)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35877) - you deserved it (7774)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58155) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (4098)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

#16074801
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (7827)

On 05/07/2011 at 1:58am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

#15833308
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (7634)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

#15539670
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41780) - you deserved it (14373)

On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (33313)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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