About meowintons : Hello I see you have stumbled across this page here. Welcome for your short stay. I like reading FMLs to see that everybody life sucks at a time and get a good laugh. But it's ok unless you are a complete failure and totally did not think it trough. If you happen to play Xbox also I will gladly accept you until you become a raging dick to me then it's gone for you! (Rainb0wSocks).
People that make this worth looking at
DocBastard
Perdix
Djeepee
Noorfml
Keyboardwarrior
Ones to get kicked off the island
We have yet to see
This isn't a place to tell my life story so I hope you enjoy your visit gift shop are to the right 3rd door. Come again :).
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (3107)
On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (1460) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16668) - you deserved it (2326)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (6230)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (3269)
On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6657) - you deserved it (15198)
On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (45012)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15451) - you deserved it (2053)
On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -
Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16734) - you deserved it (1182)
On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States
Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (2675)
On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon
Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11161) - you deserved it (2422)
On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States
Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16143) - you deserved it (4407)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (4284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14805) - you deserved it (3100)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15345) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Monday 20 May 2013
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