meowintons

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meowintons

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1359
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About meowintons : Hello I see you have stumbled across this page here. Welcome for your short stay. I like reading FMLs to see that everybody life sucks at a time and get a good laugh. But it's ok unless you are a complete failure and totally did not think it trough. If you happen to play Xbox also I will gladly accept you until you become a raging dick to me then it's gone for you! (Rainb0wSocks).
People that make this worth looking at
DocBastard
Perdix
Djeepee
Noorfml
Keyboardwarrior
Ones to get kicked off the island
We have yet to see
This isn't a place to tell my life story so I hope you enjoy your visit gift shop are to the right 3rd door. Come again :).

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meowintons's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

by JG / 05/10/2012 at 7:48am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

by Laura / 05/03/2012 at 3:55am / France / Love

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

by NotAModel / 04/30/2012 at 11:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

by Bullocks / 04/27/2012 at 1:49am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

by xharmonyx / 04/24/2012 at 4:29am / United States / Work

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

by hoggypig / 04/23/2012 at 9:00am / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

by AngryLittleMan / 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

by metalwolf / 04/20/2012 at 4:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

by ajnmegs / 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

by bibou2324 / 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm / Work

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love