Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

meowintons

Search for a member

meowintons

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 4 January 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 815
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About meowintons : Hello I see you have stumbled across this page here. Welcome for your short stay. I like reading FMLs to see that everybody life sucks at a time and get a good laugh. But it's ok unless you are a complete failure and totally did not think it trough. If you happen to play Xbox also I will gladly accept you until you become a raging dick to me then it's gone for you! (Rainb0wSocks).
People that make this worth looking at
DocBastard
Perdix
Djeepee
Noorfml
Keyboardwarrior
Ones to get kicked off the island
We have yet to see
This isn't a place to tell my life story so I hope you enjoy your visit gift shop are to the right 3rd door. Come again :).

meowintons's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of meowintons's badges

meowintons's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML

#19601611
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23884) - you deserved it (3612)

On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

#19567272
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26716) - you deserved it (2157) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/03/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Laura (woman) - France

Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML

#19552915
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (3333)

On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34993) - you deserved it (8713)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18200) - you deserved it (3805)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9581) - you deserved it (23923)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

#19520767
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8044) - you deserved it (62118)

On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (2446)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I discovered something more dangerous than drivers who text: drivers who break your car windows with a bat while stopped at a red light. FML

#19514212
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (1787)

On 04/22/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by AngryLittleMan - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41874) - you deserved it (3827)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15512) - you deserved it (3400)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (5116)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (4844) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (3590)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

#19488696
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (3906)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: