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Today, while working at the daycare, I had to clean the entire place. During the next four hours, I scooped up three human teeth, a rotten log of shit, a tire iron, a condom wrapper, and a yogurt that expired in 2003. I only cleaned the place a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16901) - you deserved it (1068)
On 10/07/2012 at 5:41pm - kids - by Skidmark Sally - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (3028)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16509) - you deserved it (8429)
On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15146) - you deserved it (3045)
On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta
Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38794) - you deserved it (1327)
On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21700) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (3090)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22307) - you deserved it (1133)
On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17452) - you deserved it (1446)
On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (4127)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17072) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21648) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26497) - you deserved it (1821)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14585) - you deserved it (4955)
On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19370) - you deserved it (2124)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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