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memphis201

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memphis201
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2514
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22690) - you deserved it (1458)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20931) - you deserved it (1898)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

#20117813
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (2392)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:10am - intimacy - by scarred_sibling - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (8615)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16000) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

#20117136
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12002) - you deserved it (5629)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by amiliaroberts123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17224) - you deserved it (2117)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19401) - you deserved it (3819)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18442) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24113) - you deserved it (1298)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML

#20114686
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16194) - you deserved it (1556)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30442) - you deserved it (2480)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17351) - you deserved it (816)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15202) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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