memphis201

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memphis201

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5484
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's page activity

Visits<b>happypenguins</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:38am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:17pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 8:30pm<b>Druu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:51pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>TacticalBacon</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:18pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:48am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Annonnymister</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:38am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:35pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:17am<b>Civilian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:46pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:49am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:29am

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML

by yerface / 02/12/2009 at 10:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

by Evil_Egbert / 02/12/2009 at 6:54am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

by notpreggers / 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

by wtf / 02/02/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

by Huge A Hole / 02/01/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

by ayw329 / 01/31/2009 at 8:51am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

by aces10 / 01/25/2009 at 8:52am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it'd be cool and trendy to buy a Blackberry Storm. FML

by fecurtis / 01/22/2009 at 9:38am / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

Today, at the age of 22 I started eating my boogers. FML

by Snotmyfault / 01/11/2009 at 9:33am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so bored that I filmed my goldfish while it was eating. FML

by Crystal / 01/10/2009 at 3:21am / Animals

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

by bloom / 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm / Love

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

by Macdaddy / 12/05/2008 at 7:49am / Work