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memphis201

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memphis201

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2953
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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Visits<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:49am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:29am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Ian_from_0070</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>vanna88</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:18am<b>niccc7373</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:34pm<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 12:22am<b>dvojplisen</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 8:51pm<b>umakemesic</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 11:26am<b>artiststatement</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 10:35pm<b>Borngemini77</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 7:29am<b>amanda1472</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:08pm<b>srbuckley322</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 9:44pm<b>sdunbar06</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 11:24pm<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 1:29am<b>ndndnsns</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 11:36am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 4:09pm<b>kmiller194</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 11:47pm

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (110545)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

#379796
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (31582)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm - misc - by SmoothTalker (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72686) - you deserved it (27220)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38568) - you deserved it (64527)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30379) - you deserved it (75992)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

#320737
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69475) - you deserved it (16337)

On 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were choosing animals that reminded us of eachother. I said he reminded me of a tiger because he is really muscular. He told me I reminded him of a zebra. When I asked him why, he said it was because of my stretchmarks. FML

#304824
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76038) - you deserved it (7222)

On 03/13/2009 at 4:03pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134614) - you deserved it (20211)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (261083) - you deserved it (47705)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60176) - you deserved it (4914)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

#245096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46717) - you deserved it (37607)

On 03/08/2009 at 8:00pm - work - by Ricky (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my birthday present from my grandfather. It was a map of the USA color coded by regional percentage of available men. FML

#238786
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54228) - you deserved it (3882)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my name was called during an assembly because I won some sort of prize. Everyone booed. FML

#232169
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67283) - you deserved it (6041)

On 03/07/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by ladeda (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother told me she didn't want my girlfriend spending the night anymore. I asked why, she said she heard us doing the nasty the night before and I denied it, hoping I could call her bluff. She paused for a moment and moaned EXACTLY like my girlfriend does. FML

#225953
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (61056)

On 03/06/2009 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by ToobyFrank - United States (Missouri)



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