memphis201

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memphis201

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5476
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's page activity

Visits<b>happypenguins</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:38am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:17pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 8:30pm<b>Druu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:51pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>TacticalBacon</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:18pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:48am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Annonnymister</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:38am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:35pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:17am<b>Civilian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:46pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:49am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 11:29am

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

by blehhh / 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

by darlingditz / 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend after driving 200 miles to see him. While arguing, I told him I never wanted to see him again and left after slamming the front door. I left my car keys in his kitchen. FML

by nokeys / 04/02/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

by Creep / 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 7:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

by CaoNiMa / 03/26/2009 at 11:42am / China (Beijing) / Kids

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

by tinytitty / 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

by Mike / 03/21/2009 at 11:38am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

by jilted / 03/21/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

by willywonks / 03/21/2009 at 1:33am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

by Stacy / 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids