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memphis201

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memphis201
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2548
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking my boyfriend to meet my grandparents. They live on the 27th floor. Alone in the elevator we started making out. Turns out that theres a camera in the elevator, connected to every apartment. My grandma asked me how it was. FML

#1394629
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (13396)

On 04/27/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by fmylifechelsea (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!". I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I don't think I'm fat. FML

#1348524
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (7004)

On 04/26/2009 at 5:47am - misc - by TheRawrza (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (19540)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

#1284162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (9220)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:37am - misc - by balancestrikesagain (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML

#1280254
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8165) - you deserved it (56515)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML

#1248987
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10396) - you deserved it (56128)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by notexactly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (80265)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52579) - you deserved it (4874)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45272) - you deserved it (18557)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

#1026397
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24676) - you deserved it (75981)

On 04/16/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Eyesore - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML

#953150
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57485) - you deserved it (4298)

On 04/13/2009 at 4:09pm - kids - by shizzy09 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my favorite radio station over and over, trying to be the 40th caller to win sold-out concert tickets, each time holding my thumb over the button to quickly hang up and re-dial if busy. I finally got through and they congratulated me being the winning caller! By habit, I hung up. FML

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (33943)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (84375)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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