memphis201

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memphis201

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6871
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's page activity

Visits<b>drunkp1tbull</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:15am<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:29am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:38am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:17pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 8:30pm<b>Druu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:51pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>TacticalBacon</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:18pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:48am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Annonnymister</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:38am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:35pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:17am<b>Civilian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:46pm

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

by you / 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

by CutestBoysEver / 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

by SadExperiment / 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML

by With_Love929 / 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

by StormSeason / 10/29/2012 at 8:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

by prettylady? / 10/28/2012 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

by davifilo / 10/26/2012 at 5:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

by illjustlimpthen / 10/24/2012 at 10:44pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm / United States / Love

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and I asked him to call me something sweet. He called me Honey Boo Boo. FML

by TypeOhNegative / 10/22/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

by jesushelpme / 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

by preggersmcgee / 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous