memphis201

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memphis201

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7200
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 50 posted

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memphis201's page activity

Visits<b>drunkp1tbull</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 2:15am<b>KappaTrappa</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 8:29am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 9:38am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:17pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 8:30pm<b>Druu</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:51pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:01pm<b>TacticalBacon</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 12:18pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 12:48am<b>wildhorseman</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 10:35pm<b>Annonnymister</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:38am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:35pm<b>MadameMacabre</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 6:08am<b>cmchappy</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:15pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 11:17am<b>Civilian</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 9:20am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 7:46pm

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memphis201's favorite FMLs

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML

by getajob / 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Work

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

by unhappy wifey / 09/28/2012 at 2:09am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my mother texted me that she was in labor. She never told me she was pregnant. Apparently she's engaged too. FML

by annoyed / 09/27/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

by MB101 / 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Love

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

by linn / 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

by fuck you, dad / 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

by Dave / 09/27/2012 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML

by Popscene / 09/26/2012 at 5:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a shady looking person on the street. As I walked past him, he said, "Hey, come here." Thinking he needed something, I went over. He handed me several pictures of my wife, in public and at home. I've never seen this man before in my life. FML

by ahappypenguin / 09/26/2012 at 12:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

by orgasmsareoverratedanyway / 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm / Norway (Nordland) / Intimacy